I never knew (a poem)

You can’t remember what you never knew,
You can’t fuse with something that was never part of you.
When I see her smile and see his face,
I see something absence couldn’t create,

I see love,
I see safety,
I see her hero,
I see her first love,
I see her protector-
The model of man,
The one who sets the bar
Higher than anyone can.

You can’t recognise what you’ve never seen-
I beg to differ, I disagree,
For when, in his arms, my daughter sleeps
I recognise what I had missed, why through my eyes, my heart leaps.

I missed love,
I missed safety,
I missed out on a hero, but
I met my first love,
Now her protector-
The model of man,
The one who sets the bar
Higher than anyone can.

When a boy pulled my hair,
For a moment, you were there,
But when several broke my heart,
You’d led the garrison from the start.

For a moment there was love,
For a second there was safety,
A “kinda” hero,
But suddenly there was no love,
No protector,
Just my imaginary model man
A fairytale prince who set the bar
Higher than anyone can.

When I walked down the aisle,
You didn’t hold my hand,
But when she takes that walk
He’ll guard her til her man can,

Somehow I found love
Somehow I found safety
In him I found a hero
I found true love,
I was my own protector
But I found this model-man
My fairytale prince was real
He did what no one can.

They say you cannot remember what you never knew
But I do remember little shards of you
Being what I’d hoped you’d be
But never could- til I found he.

I never knew I never knew love,
Nor safety,
Nor a hero.
I never knew I never knew love,
Nor protection-
Til I gave children to this man,
The one who sets the bar
Higher than anyone can.

You can’t remember
something you never knew
Nor recognise something you’ve never seen-
Or can you?